Saturday, December 30, 2006

I got my first electric toothbrush last week.

I've wanted to try one ever since I became an obsessive plague remover many years ago, but my dentist is of the opinion that you can achieve a better clean with a regular toothbrush. She claimed that if you're doing the motions yourself, it's easier to feel around the edges and successfully brush your 'trouble' spots, i.e. in between teeth, and around oddly shaped teeth. Everytime I asked her about electric toothbrushes, she'd tell me how she uses the sample ones she receives in the mail to spot clean her laundry. But what about those uber-expensive-ultra-sonic-vibrating-twenty-years-of-research ones? They're all inferior to conventional toothbrushes. Alright then.

So I completely defied her and happily accepted the electric toothbrush my parents bought me. It's a Braun Oral B something or other. I'm like some kind of rebellious dental patient, except I'm also everyone's favorite because WOW PLEASE OBSERVE MY LACK OF PLAGUE. And also my lack of gum from over-flossing.

First of all, the good:

1) It gives me one more reason to look forward to brushing. One cannot have too many reasons to look forward to brushing.

2) The little buzzing noises it makes is kind of cute. All BZZZZ BZZZZ and stuff.

3) I get to charge it in a cute little stand up charger. I like charging things.

4) It spins a lot faster than I can ever make my regular toothbrush spin. Sorry regular toothbrush.

5) The correct way to brush is around and around. I tend to brush around and around, then up and down, up and down, up and down. That is bad. Electric toothbrush is all round motions. That is good.

Next, the issues I have with it:

1) How are you supposed to get enough toothpaste to go on the tiny toothbrush head? I usually use so much toothpaste that I foam heavily around the mouth like a crazy person and need to spit about four times. No 'pea' sized amount for me. Any toothpaste I put on the electric toothbrush head usually flies off (physics grad students, here's a thesis idea for you: the centrifugal motion of electric toothbrush heads). What doesn't fly off doesn't get distributed evenly. My routine involves doing a quick toothpaste sweep around my mouth with my regular toothbrush and then switching to my electric.

2) How hard are you supposed to press? I find myself doing the same motions I do with a regular toothbrush, because holding it in one place feels so lazy, and I'm terribly afraid that I'll press too hard and all my enamel will come off, and that I'll live the rest of my life dependent on Sensodyne, and since that shit's expensive, that I'll never be able to afford a house.

3) Does water get into the electric system? I'm a little worried about that.

4) The cute vibrating noises I mentioned earlier? I'm afraid it's killing my brain cells.

4) Is it normal to have so many issues with your electric toothbrush? Maybe I should stick to a conventional one.

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