Thursday, December 23, 2004

Naps, Why You Should Stay Away From Them, and Why the Holidays are Great

  • When you're lying awake at two in the morning, unable to fall asleep because you took a nap in the afternoon (see title), you do not panick and worry about how this will affect your performance at school tomorrow. Instead, you turn on the lamp, wait for your eyes to adjust to the brightness, reach down to the floor and grab a nearby copy of Harpers. Then you read.

  • No point hitting the snooze button when you can just turn the alarm off and go right back to sleep. Wait, why bother setting the alarm?

  • Shower? Who needs to shower?

  • When you finally decide to shower because a friend said she’s coming over, you actually have time to try that ‘intense restoration conditioning serum’ you bought in a consumerist frenzy. In addition, you have time to use many other products you bought in similar frenzies, such as eyeliner, eye shadow, lip-gloss, volumnizing spray gel, straightening cream, anti-frizz spray, lotion, cream, body butter, the list goes on. And you have time to use all of them. You are so vain.

  • You have time to play your gangsta rap cds, and also your other cds, and you do not feel guilty playing them. You sing along and dance along. You are a rock star, baby.

  • You feel giddy with the thought that you actually have time to sleep now, but end up sleeping even less than you did before. Now how did that happen? But you still feel giddy.

  • Ferrero Rocher. 89 cents for a pack of three at London Drugs. Life doesn't get better than that.

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