Sunday, December 19, 2004

All I Want for Christmas is You!

It was November 29th, November as in the month before December, and I was buying yogurt at Safeway. Did you know they sell the fruit-on-the-bottom style yogurt in KIWI? How unbelievably exciting is that? I know I was pretty excited, and that I almost fell into the cooler because I was so excited.

Anyway. I was in Safeway, and the usual elevator music was playing in the background. I believe they were playing Rudolph “I have terrible allergies” Reindeer, with the usual sleigh bell sounds that permeate every single Christmas song, but I wasn’t paying any attention because, you know, KIWI YOGURT. I was still standing in the yogurt section when the beginning of the new song caught my attention. The familiar xylophone intro and the all too familiar voice stopped me from what I was doing. My arm, in the process of reaching for another carton, was suspended in mid air, and my mouth was hanging open.

The song blasting from the Safeway speakers was Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. I love that song, and nothing else brings back a flood of memories like a song. It caught me completely unprepared, and I was pissed of because it was too early, much too early to play Christmas music. It wasn’t yet December, and Christmas related things should not begin before then. No decorations, no music, no fat men in red suits. No trees, no ‘holiday specials’, no scary women blocking the entrance to the Bay encouraging me to try the fragrances from their new holiday gift baskets.

When December finally arrives, there should be the equivalent of the Big Bang, where POOF, lights and decorations and fat men suddenly come out of nowhere, and it becomes Winter Wonderland overnight. So you can understand that I was annoyed at hearing a favorite Christmas song in November at a grocery store, because it’s usually something I save for when I’m at home by myself. I considered this a matter worth discussing with the manager, so I promptly stormed off to do just that. When I reached the tea aisle (a very good aisle) I’d already composed an entire complaint speech in my head. As I walked through, I noticed that hey, several brands of tea are on sale!

So I ended up happily picking tea, marveling at the amount of money I’d be saving. 35 cents! Before I knew it, and I have no idea how it happened, I was singing along to the song. Rather loudly too. As I threw box after box of tea into my shopping basket, I was singing, “Baby all I want for Christmas is you!” “Youuuuuuuuuuu youuuuuuuuu BABY” “Ohhhh” “Santa won't you bring me the one I really need won't you please bring my baby to meeeeeee”. Etc. I had the echoes going and everything.

When the song ended, I happily exited the aisle – which was completely empty, I wonder why – and paid for my purchases. The total was higher than expected, and when I got home, I realized I’d gotten approximately nine cartons of kiwi yogurt, and that the total number of tea bags in my house had increased to 52000.

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