Friday, May 14, 2004

I've always wanted to move away for university, to live in residence, eat cafeteria food, and study in a tiny and poorly furnished room. As I type this, the word 'bohemian' comes to mind, but it isn't that I'm attracted to. Living on your own sounds so exciting, so boundless in its unprecedented freedom. I know that it's not all fun and games. The responsibilities, the adjustment. But being a person who finds being home alone for four hours incredible, I cannot fanthom being away from home months at a time. The idea in itself is too wonderful. Naturally, when the time came to apply to universities, I applied to places I cannot reach by public transit. However, somewhere inside, I knew my true nature, and that I was too lazy, too chicken (and too poor) to move out.

When the offers arrived, I had discussions with my parents. They expressed their wish for me to remain, and their reasons were well justified. I mailed in a few declines, but I kept two - one being UBC, the one close to home, and the other Waterloo. When I was younger, far too young to even think seriously about universities, my dream was to attend UC Berkeley or Waterloo. The Chinese have always viewed Waterloo as the ivy league university of Canada, and it is the only Canadian university that my relatives in China know of. My dad asked his coworkers and the co-op students about the best engineering schools and they all said Waterloo and U of T. He would come home everyday and ask about my decision. I don't want to decide. To be honest, I'm scared of going away. I'm scared of regrets and of future complications that could have been avoided had I stayed home. As a result of too little prayer and complete avoidance, I still have not decided. To complicate things, Waterloo has just offered me some money. Hopefully, in the next week, I will know what God wants for me and choose my university with confidence and excitement.

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